What do I need to be happy?
A Guest Article by Lena Luisa Brabender
„What makes me happy?"
„Who am I?“
„What am I doing here?“
Maybe this sounds familiar - those long sleepless nights, endless daydreams and many thoughts around these inconspicuous, yet important questions. But why is it so difficult to become happy in the first place? Isn't that what we are all looking for? In this short article I would like to take you on a little journey and show you 3 easy steps to become happier.
Take a short moment and look around. Where does your attention go? The books on the shelf, the unopened letters on the desk, the music playing in the background, the sounds outside, the urge to check back on social media?
We live in a world where everything is possible. Information overload. Distraction everywhere. Input at every turn. Offers of things you don't need, but that might (just maybe) make you a little happier. You can probably guess what I'm getting at.
We live in a world that constantly points out and suggests: There are things you need to become happier. But if you are honest with yourself, you really only need one thing to start becoming happier: You. So in the first step, let's disarm this lack mentality to create room in your head and heart again.
Steer your mind towards abundance
Observe your thoughts again. Where is your focus? Are you constantly thinking about what you don't have yet, what you don't know yet or what is not yet the way you want it to be? A little tip: Constantly thinking about what's missing will only make it worse.
Now you can direct your thoughts towards abundance. What is already going really well? For whom/what in your life are you grateful? What was the best thing about your day? What are you proud of today? This first step is incredibly important. Why? Only from a state of abundance we can allow more abundance into our lives. Never from a state of lack. So this first step is the basis for you to find out what you need to become happier: Your consciousness and the ability to direct your thoughts towards abundance instead of lack.
Allow and feel emotions
Now we will go one step further. What feelings and emotions do these thoughts of lack or abundance trigger in you? Answer the questions again and now observe your body. It is important to observe without judging. What happens when you focus on what’s lacking? Maybe you feel frustration, anger or sadness about things that are not working or are going badly. It is important to understand that these emotions are also allowed to be felt. It is okay if you feel them.
In the same way, you may now divert your thoughts to abundance. What happens now? Do you feel gratitude, love – or even happiness? Again, it is just as important to feel these emotions just as they are coming to you at this moment. What do you need to keep these warm and beautiful emotions close to your heart for a little longer?
And who would have thought: You may have already realised yourself, you cannot think yourself happy. You can only be happy. That is the third and last step already. Now that you have learned to direct your thoughts and feelings in a simple way, you can define for yourself:
What does happiness mean to you?
What do you need here & now to feel better and more relaxed?
What feelings and emotions do you want to feel more often? Who or what triggers them?
Begin with small steps
To me, happiness is waking up in the morning without an alarm clock, opening the curtains to let the sun in and to breathe the first fresh air.
To me, happiness means drinking the first coffee in bed.
To me, happiness means sitting in a cute little café with a good book.
To me, happiness means taking an hour for my yoga exercises and giving my body and mind something good.
To me, happiness is sitting at the table with my loved ones, dining together and having deep conversations.
And for you?
Happiness is always there, we just don't realise it sometimes. I hope this little journey has made you realise that you already have everything you need to be happy. Important: Happiness takes practice and patience. These steps will help you to work on it from the inside out. We also always start from here and now, in this moment, and this can quickly get lost in everyday life. Feel free to take these questions into your morning or evening routine, into your yoga classes or meditations. I am curious to see what you will take with you and integrate directly.
YouTube Live recording with Lena Luisa
Mental Health: Think positive, stay healthy
You've set yourself goals, you want to be happier and you're motivated, full steam ahead into the new year - but what if motivation and energy wane? What if your mental health doesn't play along? How do you even notice it?
Life & Leadership Coach Lena Luisa supports you on your way to a positive mindset. She helps you to ask yourself the right questions, to connect with your inner self and to steer your thoughts and emotions in a positive direction. Learn how to create your own positive mindset in this YouTube video with Lena Luisa, that we recorded live on 27 January 2022.
LENA LUISA BRABENDER
Lena Luisa lives in Cologne and, as a life & leadership coach, helps executives achieve a better performance and better results with a harmonic work-life balance. She also offers a six-week online class where people interested can dive deeper into the topic of emotions (understanding, managing & learning to manoeuvre). On Instagram, she regularly posts about her work in Emotional Intelligence, Mental Health & Mindfulness.