A guest article by Michaela Aue
It is not always easy to listen to your own inner voice, especially when the outside world is getting louder. And yet it is becoming increasingly important for all of us to strengthen our trust in the connection to our own self, because this connection has a lot to tell us.
"The most important relationship in your life is the relationship with yourself" - and yet a large part of our lives consists of relationships with others. Friends, family, job, hobbies - there is a lot to do! Expectations, obligations and responsibilities in everyday life do not always make it easy for us to maintain the balance between our own needs and those we perceive from outside. No wonder that the most important person, yourself, is often forgotten.
Why connecting with yourself is so important
Anyone who constantly looks to the outside world loses contact with their own self. With that inner voice that lives in all of us. Logically, because the more you look for answers for yourself and your life outside of yourself, the more dependent you become on others. You find it difficult to make your own decisions, you feel unbalanced, but you can't really say where this feeling comes from, and you are much more concerned with trying to please everyone else, just not yourself! In severe cases, neglecting ourselves can lead to pent-up emotions, stress, exhaustion or even depression.
The connection to ourselves is the basis for our connection to others! If you cannot accept yourself, you cannot be open in your connections with others. On the one hand, you will always want to hide a part of yourself from others, and on the other hand, you will always look for something in others that you can best give yourself - trust in yourself and that you know best what is "right" for you and your life.
How meditation helps you
There are many ways to strengthen this connection to yourself. One of the best known and probably most researched methods is meditation. You are certainly aware of the usual benefits of a regular meditation practice. Less stress, more compassion for ourselves and others, increased focus and attention, creativity, better sleep are just the beginning of what meditation can do for you. In addition, studies have shown that meditation improves self-awareness and thus has a positive effect on emotional intelligence.
For example, there is the so-called self-inquiry meditation. In this type of meditation, you ask yourself the question: "Who am I?" You begin to calm yourself and your thoughts and to become silent. In this moment of silence, you ask yourself: "Who am I?" Imagine that your thoughts are like a lake; when the thoughts are calm, the surface is completely smooth. The question "Who am I" is then like a stone that you throw into the water and that makes small waves. You observe these waves until they have settled down again and the lake has a completely smooth surface again. Then you start again.
So this meditation is not so much about getting a final answer to your question - that is not what any form of meditation is about. Rather, it is about observing yourself and your thoughts without judging or judging them. So you learn to tolerate yourself and your thoughts and realize that you are not your thoughts! You are you!
A little exercise for you
The best thing to do is to do a little exercise yourself. The exercise can be the beginning of a self-inquiry meditation.
Find a comfortable seat. Make sure your back is straight and upright. Close your eyes and start to relax your body. Notice any tension in your muscles and try to relax them. Take 1-2 minutes to do this.
Start by observing your thoughts. All you have to do is pay attention to when the thoughts come and go. Don't try to identify with them, hold on to them, or even think about them any further.
When a thought comes up, ask yourself: “Who does this thought belong to? Who is thinking this thought?” Do this with every thought that comes up.
After a while you will notice that most of your thoughts come from outside and you don't even have to think these thoughts.
As soon as you notice that you want to analyze your thoughts, take a step back and ask yourself the questions: "Who does this thought belong to? Who is thinking this thought?" That's all you have to do.
You will probably forget these instructions again and again, that's completely normal. But as soon as you remember them, ask yourself the questions again and continue to observe your thoughts.
You can do this type of meditation for about 10 minutes. It's best to set a timer. At the end, take a deep breath and then slowly open your eyes.
Regularity for connection
With this type of meditation, you practice how to detach yourself from your thoughts so that your thoughts do not control you, but you control them. With regular practice, you will notice how it becomes easier and easier to observe your thoughts. You will cling to them less and find more silence.
From this place of silence and inner peace, you will easily feel the connection to your true self. This connection takes practice, and practice requires regularity. Start with a week and observe what changes. Give yourself these 10 minutes a day; it will be worth it.
Photos: Alicia Minkwitz
MICHAEL
Michaela is a mediation teacher from Berlin. The search for the meaning of life and the connection to one's own self has occupied her since childhood. Michaela's life is filled with learning and passing on spiritual tools and techniques that bring you into contact with yourself and support you in dealing with challenging situations. In 2020 she founded her monthly meditation course THE art OF BEING YOU.
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